Bullying
The topic of bullying is back in the news. This time around there is a beauty queen and state senator from New York who are taking up the battle. This beautiful young woman is feeling the pain of all those who are being bullied. She is the proverbial ugly duckling who has transformed into the beautiful swan. He is a law maker who is drooling to write more legislation that will make the world a more wonderful place to live. "Cyber-bullying" is the new turf that they want to patrol. Also they want to widen the net to include more than the LGBT youth that has been the recent area of focus in sensational news stories. Now they would like to include all kids who are too tall, short, heavy, nerdy or "slow". I am sure that her intentions are based on a kind heart and she wants to help young people avoid some of the pain she felt when growing up. His motives are suspect just because he is a politician.
There will inevitably be unforeseen consequences to this type of legislation. You can't police 8th graders. Have you read "Lord of the Flys"? They bully because they can. Their miserable little lives are made better because they compare themselves to those they perceive as weaker around them. Come to think of it, that behavior never goes away. As adults we are constantly comparing too, but we have been socialized out of much of the bullying behavior. Or have we just learned how to deal with bullies because we dealt with them in our youth? Can the argument be made that it is better to deal with bullies when you are a child so that you develop anti-bodies (Skills) to fend off bullies you encounter as an adult.
Can you also argue that the mere existence of the beauty queen is in itself bullying all the little ugly ducklings that have not yet blossomed into swans or those that will never be beautiful. Maybe all the beautiful people should be locked up and kept out of sight so those less attractive among us will feel better.
I was bullied many times as a child and a few times as an adult. I did my best to protect my daughter from bullying but I'm sure she caught her share of mean spirited treatment. It hurts, but you have to get through it and toughen up. It's part of the process and to try to legislate it out of existence won't work. Any legislation of this type will certainly cause more problems than it will prevent. Are you going to call in the swat team every time Johnny calls Billy a big fat fatty? How do you distinguish between teasing and bullying? For the majority of the cases the cure is going to be worse then the crime.
Here is a bullying story from my childhood. In the 1950s I was staying with my grandparents in Massachusetts. It was in the middle of winter, snowing and I was playing outside in the snow with a neighbor kid who was my age, about eight of nine, but a little smaller then me. I had this new winter hat on that I thought was really cool and was bragging about it to this kid. Somehow he managed to grab my had and before I knew it he had taken a pen knife from his pocket and cut a hole in my new hat. I was mortified, grabbed my destroyed hat and ran crying into the house to tell my grandfather about the calamity.
Much to my surprise and horror, my grandfather dragged me to the door pushed me out and said not to come back until I had beaten that little #@^*#@ to a pulp. It turned out that I was much more afraid of my grandfather then the neighbor kid even with a knife. My single punch caught the kid totally unprepared and sent him running home looking for some parental comfort. As I walked triumphantly back to my grandfathers house I saw him watching me from the front window. He welcomed me in like a champion, clapping me on the back and said, "He'll never mess with you again." He then proceeded to sew up my damaged hat.
My question is: Who is the bully in this story? The neighbor kid, my grandfather or me?
There will inevitably be unforeseen consequences to this type of legislation. You can't police 8th graders. Have you read "Lord of the Flys"? They bully because they can. Their miserable little lives are made better because they compare themselves to those they perceive as weaker around them. Come to think of it, that behavior never goes away. As adults we are constantly comparing too, but we have been socialized out of much of the bullying behavior. Or have we just learned how to deal with bullies because we dealt with them in our youth? Can the argument be made that it is better to deal with bullies when you are a child so that you develop anti-bodies (Skills) to fend off bullies you encounter as an adult.
Can you also argue that the mere existence of the beauty queen is in itself bullying all the little ugly ducklings that have not yet blossomed into swans or those that will never be beautiful. Maybe all the beautiful people should be locked up and kept out of sight so those less attractive among us will feel better.
I was bullied many times as a child and a few times as an adult. I did my best to protect my daughter from bullying but I'm sure she caught her share of mean spirited treatment. It hurts, but you have to get through it and toughen up. It's part of the process and to try to legislate it out of existence won't work. Any legislation of this type will certainly cause more problems than it will prevent. Are you going to call in the swat team every time Johnny calls Billy a big fat fatty? How do you distinguish between teasing and bullying? For the majority of the cases the cure is going to be worse then the crime.
Here is a bullying story from my childhood. In the 1950s I was staying with my grandparents in Massachusetts. It was in the middle of winter, snowing and I was playing outside in the snow with a neighbor kid who was my age, about eight of nine, but a little smaller then me. I had this new winter hat on that I thought was really cool and was bragging about it to this kid. Somehow he managed to grab my had and before I knew it he had taken a pen knife from his pocket and cut a hole in my new hat. I was mortified, grabbed my destroyed hat and ran crying into the house to tell my grandfather about the calamity.
Much to my surprise and horror, my grandfather dragged me to the door pushed me out and said not to come back until I had beaten that little #@^*#@ to a pulp. It turned out that I was much more afraid of my grandfather then the neighbor kid even with a knife. My single punch caught the kid totally unprepared and sent him running home looking for some parental comfort. As I walked triumphantly back to my grandfathers house I saw him watching me from the front window. He welcomed me in like a champion, clapping me on the back and said, "He'll never mess with you again." He then proceeded to sew up my damaged hat.
My question is: Who is the bully in this story? The neighbor kid, my grandfather or me?
posted by Spider at 12:42 PM
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